Build Resilience in Children by Using 10 Powerful Ways

Written By Raheela Shahid & Taaha Ahmad

Introduction

Resilience is a competence that forms a core part of the modern environment of volatility and ambiguity, allowing children to overcome adversities, adjust to the change, and recover lost grounds. Adults who emerge after such resilience are now children and are very adamant in the face of hardship. Therefore, to the parents and the other important guardians, the development of the mental and emotional resilience is invaluable.

The ten workable ideas, listed below, along with examples and reminders of the steps, provide an approach to fostering resilience in children of any age and temperament that can be easily accessible (see Table 1 as well).

Table 1: Build Resilience in Children by 10 Powerful Ways (Quick Reference)

Strategy	Parent’s Role/Example		Benefit to Child
Model problem-solving		Parent calmly works through car trouble with child	Teaches coping and solution-seeking
Encourage their growth mindsets.		Praise effort, “You tried hard!” not just results	Builds persistence, flexibility
Teach emotional labeling		“I see you’re sad about the game. Let’s talk.”	Aids self-understanding, control
Support safe risks		Allow the child to try climbing, even if nervous	Fosters bravery, experience
Celebrate with them the small wins.		Cheer finishing a puzzle after frustration	Boosts confidence, motivation
Build routines		Set bedtime rituals and a daily checklist	Gives safety, reduces anxiety
Practice reflection		Discuss ‘tough days’ and lessons learned	Develops perspective, insight
Teach them coping strategies		“Let’s take deep breaths when angry.”	Tools for self-regulation
Stay connected		Quality family time, open shares of own struggles	Child feels secure, not alone
Promote self-care		Family walks, healthy snacks, creative downtime	Improves wellbeing, recovery

1. Model Problem-Solving in Daily Life

Children learn resilience best by watching how adults respond during difficulties.

Life Example:

In a situation where the family car broke down during the way to a picnic, rather than panicking, the mother of Sameer calmed the children and called someone to rescue them and entertained them somehow to continue the waiting. She had to talk later about the measures that had been taken and it can clearly be seen that a challenge can be tackled in a calm manner as seen in the image below.

2. Encourage their Growth Mindsets

Teach kids not to be perfect, but to be good at what they do because of hard work. Failure should be construed as an opportunity to learn rather than a mistake.

Life Example:

Nida struggled with long division but kept practicing after her mother praised her efforts instead of only giving rewards for correct answers, as you can see in the image below that the Child is doing homework with a supportive parent.

3. Teach Emotional Labeling

Help your child name their feelings and express them in words.

Life Example:

After losing a school race, Raza’s mother let him talk about feeling disappointed and sad, instead of saying “Don’t be upset!” They talked about ways to feel better and try again, as it can be seen in the image below that the Parent is trying to comfort her child.

4. Support and Encourage Safe Risk-Taking

Give your child a chance to do some difficult ones, and to explore them with your support, although not necessarily with success.

Life Example:

Therefore, my sister Fatima was in a panic before she had the school play as she forgot her lines. This father attempted to make her perform an audition regardless, and though she failed miserably, he continued to wave thumbs-up at her instead of fretting over the result, which is virtually what we see in picture above.

5. Celebrate their Small Wins

Have the little victories on tracking. Note them, point them out, and pat their back a little when you notice a micro-step forward. It is also good to celebrate the grand accomplishments, but all that smaller stuff actually keeps the wheels in motion, and it feels fantastic when people actually notice it.

Life Example:

Iman played the song at the piano after some weeks and she did not miss any beats. It was her parents who applauded in such a way that she felt proud not due to the performance but due to the fact that she fought.

6. Build Routines and Consistency

The stability of the routines makes a child comfortable in such unpredictable circumstances.

Life Example:

Asad’s parents did not modify bedtime, meal, and playing routine even during examinations, which made the boy feel safe and relaxed.

7. Practice Reflection by Discussion

The parents ought to urge their children to consider a moment in life when they struggled by themselves and speak about the lessons that they had learnt. It builds up emotional resilience, effective problem solving and growth mindset in them.

Life Example:

Hina did not hesitate to reason with one of her friends, and when her mother heard the argument, they spoke together about what was wrong and how to handle the same the next time.

8. Teach Coping Strategies

Psychologists advise parents to teach children proven coping skills, provide them with some fundamental steps to slow down or change gears on emotions.

Life Example:

When Bilal lost his temper with his brother, his father relaxed in long breaths alongside him, and told him that it is better to step outside to take a short break rather than yell.

9. Stay Connected with Family and Community Support

Take a little time together as a family and do attempt to discuss feelings with family and assure the child that he/she can talk to you about anything, whether good or bad.

Life Example:

The parents of one student I know (Ayan) purposefully blocked out Sunday afternoons as a family check-in. Positives and negatives are shared by everyone, and this is an avenue that makes everyone feel heard.

10. Promote Self-Care for Mind and Body

And in addition to that, demonstrating healthy habits such as good sleep, nutritious and healthy food, exercise, and real rest is a way to make young children realize that self-care is not a phraseology but a way of life.

Life Example:

When school deadlines pile up, Sana’s mother encourages a break for a walk together. They talk about how exercise helps the brain focus and bounce back under pressure.

How Building Resilience Affects Your Child

1. Emotional health: Kids will be better copers with disappointments and can discuss their feelings.
2. Success at school: Extract positive results out of the bad grades earned and know how to keep on trying without quitting.
3. Social skills: React in a favorable way to peer conflict and approach and request support when necessary.
4. Long-term wellbeing: It has a good sense of self and future hope.

Reflective Practical Parenting

1. Do I set an example of composure and ability to respond in stress?
2. When my child fails, do I make him/her meditate and retake the test?
3. How do we reward our family for the process rather than the outcome?
4. Does my child feel free to describe a full gamut of emotions to me?

FAQs

Q1: Is resilience able to be taught, or are they born like that?

It is nothing short of true that resilience can be fostered! Although there are children who are inherently more on the easy-going end of the spectrum, there is no reason that every child cannot be taught coping skills and optimism each day.

Q2: What happens when my child does not like challenges?

Make errors and insecurities normal by profiling your experiences. It should start with small and low-risk tasks and encourage trying over results.

Q3: Are strict routines suffocating resilience?

Absolutely not, predictable routines give children the sense of security that they require to experiment without having reservations, hence bringing about ease in adaptation.

Q4: What is best to do with a big disappointment for my child?

Affirm what they are feeling, engage in thinking together about what went wrong, and show them that they should have a second chance at it when they are willing. Do not coerce, never be supportive.

Conclusion

Resilient parenting is not about protecting children in any way; it is all about teaching them to see and take the good and bad in their lives with hope and courage and with constant support. Any parent having these 10 effective tools is capable of bringing up children who will succeed, adjust, and excel regardless of the challenges that will come along their way.

What is the first strategy you are looking forward to trying it? What are your thoughts or a question? Post it in the comments below!